Courageously Closing a Door

The biggest lesson I learned the end of this summer was "push through the resistance of starting". I have overcome some major challenges at this stage in my life that I will never take for granted moving forward. The greatest challenge of all, however, was naming I am driving down a road that is no longer mine to drive on. A close friend of mine helped me name this over breakfast one morning. She stated, "it may be time to take a detour and form your own adventure in the world". She was not wrong. I believe I was right where I needed to be within the mental health field for the last decade of working with others. I also know it is mandatory to continue putting my health journey first and re-prioritize what is meant for me now.

After completing my master's degree in Marriage and Family therapy and seeing clients for the last six years, I officially closed my door. At first closing this door felt like giving up and for months I felt like a failure. As I journaled and continued to process the heaviness around this decision, I realized that it was not a failure, however, a courageous act in leaving behind a certain lifestyle I knew very well and was safe for a long time.

This decision did not come lightly. It has been on my heart and mind for two years prior to naming, it is time. I vividly remember the day last May when I officially found clarity on how to transition out of the field and the relief that followed was unexplainable. I had an epiphany driving home from work, that the therapy chair was actually keeping me a part of a pattern I have outgrown and the role I was in was not helping me reclaim what I needed to in my personal and relational life.

I am taking a chance on me in a way I have never done before.

There is some anxiety about how I will be piecing together a new puzzle for the lifestyle that is my road to pave now. I also enjoy this anxiety, knowing it is coming from a place of excitement and passion-driven motives. Day in and day out I am making choices that I would not have felt so confident in doing long ago.

One huge part of this shift, I truly owe to my client stories that reflected parts of my own battles and learning just how difficult it is to make change that more closely aligns with your authentic self. Something deep within me knew by taking steps out of the therapy space and slowly finding communal spaces that allow me to express my creativity again would be the medicine my soul has been bone dried of and craving for awhile.

I had a professor in the past state, "by taking action and practicing what you say to others in the therapy room, you are also showing your client(s) what they are capable of too". My hope is by embarking on this new lifestyle, it encourages others to end what no longer serves them and start again too. I wrote down a list of non-negotiable weekly tasks for this upcoming year and I have never felt so ecstatic to keep a routine going that has been flooding my spirit with genuine happiness and peace.

If you make decisions that speak to your own self-respect everyday, I promise you it is going to lead to something greater.

Trust the detour.

Patience.

-ART